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Do you have trouble sleeping nights?
Maybe it's your bed.
Try this newly released orthopedic beauty.
You'll be sleeping like a baby in no time!
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FREE SEX!!!
Click on the...uhm,
jackass
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Some people think men are
never depreressed.
Just a matter of opinion,
I guess.
See if you agree.
Click on the Happy Face
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Nothing fishy about this tale.
Click on the FISH and HOOK to
go fishing
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And More Fishing...
Click on the Fish and Hook
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Speaking of Drunks...
DUI is serious business.
Click on the
Motorcycle Cop
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Ah...drunk people.
You gotta love ' em.
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A REDNECK LOVE POEM
SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.
PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.
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SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL.
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,
HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.'
YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YO' MOTHER.
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.
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BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY.
MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE;
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.
( Kinda brings a tear to yer eye, don' t it? )
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The Wedding Ring
A man went to the Harborview Medical Center
in Seattle, Washington,
to have his wedding ring cut off his penis.
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Giddy Up...
Help Wanted: Ranch Hand
to Apply
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According to the nurse attending the operation,
the patient's girlfriend found the ring
in his pants pocket.
She didn't know he was married
and she was so mad she used petroleum jelly to
slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.
I don't know what's worse:
1. Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2. Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring
got on your penis...
OR...
3. Finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.
Tough call. You decide.
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says,
' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
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The driver says,
' Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60,
perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:
' Now don't be silly dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
The wife smiles demurely and says
' You should be thankful your radar detector
went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out the 2nd ticket
for the illegal radar detector unit,
the man glowers at his wife and says
through clenched teeth,
' Damn it, woman, can' t you keep your mouth shut? '
The officer frowns and says,
' And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'
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The driver says,
' Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on,
but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could
get my license out of my back pocket. '
The wife says,
' Now dear, you know very well
that you didn't have your seat belt on.
You never wear your seat belt while you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the 3rd ticket
the driver turns to his wife and barks,
' WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??? '
The officer looks over at the woman and asks,
' Does your husband always talk to you this way,
Ma' am? '
( I Love This Part...)
' No. Only when he's been drinking.'
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