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TO:  GOD
FROM: THE DOG
 

Dear God:

Is it on purpose that our names are the same, only reversed ?

Dear God:

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another ?

Dear God:

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story ?

Dear God:

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not
ONE named for a Dog ?
How often  do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the ' Chrysler Eagle ' the ' Chrysler Beagle ' ?

Dear God:

If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad Dog ?

Dear God:

We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields,
and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand ?

Dear God:

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God:

Are there mailmen in Heaven ?
If there are, will I have to apologize ?

Dear God:

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.  

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.  

4. The sofa is not a ' face towel '

5. The  garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play  tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ' hello '.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house--not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a ' squeaky toy ' so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.

                              Signed,
                                       The Dog
P.S.  Dear God:
          When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
 
 

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