Just Too Hard To Believe !!

' Millionaire ' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever

Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday
when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, '
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question,
and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing ' the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'

After being introduced to the shows host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play,
whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was:

' Which of the following is the largest? '

A) A Peanut                           
B) An Elephant                       
C) The Moon                          
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately, Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic
as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.

' Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust.
' I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide
which was bigger, an elephant or the moon.
However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.

' Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. ' Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

' Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
' Ok, I got an important question.  Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

' Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. ' How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick ' The Moon. '
' I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned
98% in favor of answer C, ' The Moon.'
Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.

' Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Evans.
' But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon,
I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant.  Final answer.'

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong,
and that the answer was in fact, C, ' The Moon.'  

Caution...they walk among us!

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit,
patients always died in the same bed; on Sunday morning,
at about 11:00 am,regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought
it had something to do with the super natural.
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred
around 11:00 AM, Sunday.
So a worldwide team of experts was assembled to
investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM,
all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward
to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books,
and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00,
Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper,
entered the ward and
unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Two animal rights defenders
were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs
to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.

Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and
escaped through a broken fence,
stampeding madly.

The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
A guy bought a new fridge for his house.

To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard

and hung a sign on it saying:

' Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'

For three days the fridge sat there

without even one person looking twice at it.

He eventually decided that people

were too distrusting of this deal.

It looked too good to be true.

So he changed the sign to read:
'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!
While looking at a house,
my brother asked the estate agent
which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want
the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, '
Does the sun rise in the north? '

When my brother explained that
the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime,
she shook her head and said,

Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff '
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